The Long Awaited Guest

Do you feel the overwhelming atmosphere in the air lately?

Like when you're waiting for a very important guest to come. The feeling of uncertainty, excitement, and nervousness wrapped around in one feeling. It can make you numb, because of feeling too much. It is an indescribable feeling that you have. Waiting patiently for that long awaited guest to arrive.

I'm feeling a bit mixed-up. I can't wait for the guest to come. But i'm not sure i'm ready for it to come. So many things things still left unfinished inside me that I feel that I will not be able to give my best to the guest.

Who's the guest if you might ask. It's the month of Ramadhan. The most awaited month in the Islamic calendar. The month where you fast, do good deeds, purify your wealth and just be a better human being at the end of it. The month where all the things you do is rewarded by Allah in abundant.

Ramadhan means having a checklist of what to achieve. What you plan to do and in what way can you do good things as much as possible. I am currently preparing my list of what I want to do and achieve this Ramadhan. Setting up my mind to the difficult task of fighthing with my nafs and be more in control of myself.

This site provide you with the much needed push for you to do goods by breaking down in small bits what you need to do during ramadhan. I think this'll be my staple read throughout the month.

So, i'm all gearing up and readying myself for ramadhan. Hope you will to.

Getting back on track

Alhamdulillah...last weekend was wonderful. Although travelling has not been easy for me these days, going to the east coast was fun and exciting. Got to meet my in-laws, nearly got teary-eyed when meeting kak mazni and kak lisa at the wedding reception (It reminds me of how much I missed them, alhamdulillah for the meeting, it is worth all the travelling) and the quick stop at gambang to visit lil cousin hanis.

Coming back from a long-distance trip is not easy. You've got the unpacking to do, the laundry and getting back on track of your daily routine. Travelling has exhaust me to the core, I end up feeling extremely tired and lethargic after the journey. I don't know why i'm feeling this lately. All my energy has somewhat being sucked-in by an unknown void. I feel restless. Sometimes I blame it on the hormones that currently ravaging my body. Pregnancy hormones to be exact. But, at the end of the day, I don't know why i feel so tired.

So, getting back on track has somewhat been difficult. I feel like i've had procrastinate so much of my work that i feel left behind from my colleagues. Works piling up day by day, and i can't seem to finish it. I feel helpless sometimes. I miss feeling good about myself and accomplishing a lot in a day. But those days come by not so often.

What should i do?

Setting back my life-goal, and prioritizing my time would be the best headstart. Analyzing my problem and trying to figure out how to work things out will help me untangle the mess in my mind.

Do pray for me dear friends.

Pregnancy and Dreams

I've been having very wild dreams lately. It's already twice that i dream i gave birth. I'm only just entering my second trimester, giving birth is still so many months away. It's scary sometimes, and i always ended up waking feeling more tired than before. A good night sleep is scarce for me these days. What with maryam sleeping next to me and tossing and turning ever so often. I would be awake every time she moves. I think i have to sleep somewhere else after this to get a good night sleep.

Since i'm subscribing to the babycentre newsletter, i've been getting many info on how pregnancy can affect the women's dream. You can read it here. It is a relief knowing that it is normal to be having all these dreams. But, now, i'm trying to change the way i sleep so i can get a good shut-eye for a few hours.

Oh, yesterday i did a spa treatment at home. A very simple one. Just a body scrub and some oil body massage. Its effect was wonderful. After finishing all of it, i feel very-very comfortable and sleepy too. Can't help but to sleep after that. Hmm, maybe i should do it more often to get myself some sleep. Well, it depends on the time i have at hand. Luckily for me yesterday that maryam decided to sleep early so i can spend extra time for myself after making dinner.

On other note, maybe i should recite the Qur'an more before getting to bed. That way, it can make me calmer and prepare myself for sleep. InsyaAllah.

So Sweeeeet.

Yesterday was the night market or 'pasar malam' night for my place. Many of the residents in the nearby area flock to the night market like ants flocking a bowl of sugar. We used to buy the usual night market food like the kuey teaw kerang, bakso, nasi ayam or laksa. But yesterday, we felt that we had enough of these food already that we decided to try different food that we don't usually buy at the pasar malam.

We choose to buy a few slice of pizza, some satay, cakoi and some mango. A different choice compared to the usual ones.

What i want to share here is the mango. We bought it since it is cheap that day. It's usually priced at 5 to 6 ringgit per kilo, but now it's only 3 ringgit per kilo. So i take 2 mango for a price of 2 ringgit and the seller gave a free mango. Alhamdulillah, an extra rezki for us.

When we got home, i peel the mango's skin and slice some for maryam to taste. Boy, it's very2 sweet. It's like borderline drinking a sugar liquid. The taste of the mango is so sweet that you might feel that someone must have injected some sort of sugary taste to it. But, as i eat some more of it, i can't help but feel very amazed at how Allah has made such a sweet taste in a fruit. It is amazing. SubhanAllah. None other that Him who could make the fruits sweet or sour.

I'm lucky to have tasted such a very sweet fruit yesterday. It reminded me of how Mighty He is and how beautiful the life around me is.

On cherishing the blessings

Just thought of sharing some pictures of Maryam. The gift Allah has given to us. Though it's just temporary, i'd want to cherish it for as long as i live.

These are old pictures btw. Haven't had the time to upload the current ones. Will share them someday. InsyaAllah

Very playful, your smile cheers me everytime

Those eyes are just cute

To smile even in her sleep

Thump Thump

While i was teaching in class yesterday, something interesting and unexpected happened.

Thump.

I feel a soft nudge coming from the inside of my belly. Just once.

That tiny thump got me to put my hand on my belly while i was explaining something to the students. I hope it doesn't look too obvious to my students.

It's interesting since we can't really feel the baby moves until they are 18 to 20 weeks old. Hmm, i think it's earlier this time around.

I still think that pregnancy is a surreal experience. The thought of being pregnant again still hasn't sink in. Well, maybe in due time. When they become bigger and heavier. Can't wait for the time to come. In all of its happiness or pain of pregnancy, I am thankful that Allah given me the chance to experience it. Alhamdulillah.

Sweet Dream Dear

Getting maryam to sleep has been quite a task for me these days. Bedtime can sometimes drag on for hours till she actually fall asleep. She seems to resent the idea of getting to sleep although i could really see that she's actually sleepy. I would put her to bed and pat her to keep her sleepy, but if she's not ready to sleep, she'll just climb down the bed and walk out of the bedroom to the living room and waving her small hand at me while doing so. Oh my baby.

I've read some article of ideas to get your baby to sleep. Some of it did work but some of the ideas are a bit far-fetched for tired-mom like me.

Maryam's pattern of sleep range from 'sleeping like a baby' to 'i-won't-sleep-if-i-can-help-it'. In the early months of her delivery, she sleeps most of the time, only waking up for feeding and nappy-change. The amount of sleep becomes lesser as her age progresses.

Now, as we (me and hubby) try to get her to sleep, we try to follow a certain routine for bedtime. This is to prepare her for bedtime. It is also a cue for her to get ready for bed without us having to wrestle her. Usually bedtime can start by giving her a bath, change her to her pyjama and massage her while dressing her. If i still have the strength that night, i'll be the one to put her to bed, or if i'm already flat-out, hubby will take on the task. I will lie next to her and read her her favourite book. A peek-a-boo book where the pages contain of daily lives activity but with a flip-up page so she can flip the page to reveal what is hidden underneath. The book is quite thick, and she already have her own favourite pages which i have to read with animated face and gestures. She just love the book, and i'm glad that she is. Makes life easier for me. I like how she intently listening to my reading and giggle at the funny noise that i make.

After finished reading, we will sing some lullaby. We like the "hey diddle diddle.." and "in the name of Allah i lay to sleep..". She loves the lullaby, provided that you sing it while moving your hands to the song.

Then, we recite the du'a before sleeping. She can now cup her hands together while i recite the du'a. She likes the part where we say 'ameen..' where she'll take her hands together and bring it to her face. With children or baby, everything you do, it has to be done in many times for them to get what you are doing and imitate it.

By now, she supposed to already feeling sleepy and ready to sleep. But, just one more thing, she'll drink her milk and after finishing, she'll find her favourite pillow to hug to accompany her to sleep. I'll just slowly pat her, kiss her cheek or just look at her longingly. Alhamdulillah, a difficult task has just completed. Now it's time for me to settle some things in the house or maybe just doze off together with her. Depending on the ounce of energy left in me. Usually the latter will be the choice.hehe